I went to see the neuro-opthamologist again on Monday for a follow up appointment regarding the condition of my right eye. He said the eye muscle has not gotten worse since my brain injuries in March earlier this year. The pain I feel inside the iris and in the nerves and muscles behind and inside the eye is not from the eye getting stronger, it’s probably from another injury related to the brainstem stroke I had.
When I saw the ENT specialist he had suggested I could have a condition called TMJ or Temporomanibular Joint Disorder. There are times when my jaw locks and I can’t move it, there have also been incidents where I have pain on the right side of my neck underneath my jaw. During the pain episodes I cannot swallow for a minute until the pain goes away. The pain above my jaw is usually followed by a sharp pain inside my right ear. This has been going on for 10 months since I had the brain injuries in March. The jaw incidents are not everyday, they vary. Sometimes happening every day or multiple times a day or going on a few days without having any episodes. I have to go see a specialist regarding this. The TMJ most likely occurred when I had the hemorrhage on my left side which caused the stroke. The stress on my body most likely caused me to grind my teeth which as a result moved my jaw out of place and messed up some nerves in the process.
On Monday I schedule my eye muscle surgery. It will be towards the end of March. Since it’s an outpatient procedure, I’ll get to go home after the surgery and then see the eye surgeon again the next day for a follow up appointment.
I have to keep the tape on my right glasses lens in the meantime because of the double vision. I have about 83 days before I get my eye fixed. I’ve had double vision for a year in March. I don’t need to explain why it’s a challenge to continue to function with all these issues going on inside my body between nerve issues and overall recovery. Sometimes it’s hard to get some people to understand what the recovery process really means and why it can be really frustrating, joyful and painful all at the same time. I’ve had to go through multiple grieving processes within my own body of what I can do and what I was able to do a year ago when things were different. For example, my drawings are better than they were before, but my hand writing is different. They way my hand moves when it’s writing out words is not the same as it was last year. My hand doesn’t move the same way. The hadn writing itself looks the same ( kind of ) . The countdown begins….